Should shame be part of buying and wearing band tees? Today I got the coolest Grateful Dead t shirt I've ever seen. I like the Grateful Dead, genuinely. Box of Rain is a beautiful song (one of my favorites!). But a part of me feels obligated to justify how big of a fan I am. Another part of me wants to embrace that it's just a shirt, and I don't need to do anything about it.
I know firsthand the frustration of seeing someone who obviously isn't a fan of a band don that shirt. But then when I take a step back and really think about it, how is it "obvious" at all? It all goes back to the timeless adage - don't judge a book by its cover. I'd never doubt an old man wearing a Beatles shirt, but I instantly scoff at the idea of a white girl in a Rolling Stones tee. To me, that just reflects a bigger issue - sexism and the omnipresent dismissal of teenage girls' validity.
Nobody takes teenage girls seriously. I know that firsthand. I find myself consciously distancing myself from stereotypes, and internalizing the shame of others' perceptions of me when I embody the mold I've been taught is "lesser". Like this morning, when I went on a Starbucks run in my grandparents' nice car wearing my aforementioned Dead tee - how could I? A privileged teenage girl getting Starbucks and thinking a band shirt makes her cool or different. Eye roll. But those same patterns of thinking I've learned to internalize only perpetuate the problem, and make me second guess myself for things I have no reason to be ashamed of. I've totally passed judgment on other people for things I'd do, or have done, and if I just took a step back and slapped myself back to reality - it doesn't matter, truly! - I'd learn to become a more accepting, and probably happier, person. I'm getting better at it, but I'm not there yet.
