Astrology is fake but we're trying

I was once a die-hard believer in astrology, perhaps in part because Aquarius is universally heralded as the coolest sign of the zodiac (uhh what do you mean bias?). But this summer, after reading one too many foreboding monthly horoscopes warning me that my world would come crashing down on August 7th, then again on the 21st, and basically periodically for the rest of my life, I realized something: I'd been using astrology as a way to shirk out of taking responsibility for my choices and actions. In turn it had instilled unnecessary anxiety and dread into my life.

It's not fun when your brain doesn't work the way it's supposed to, and if you know me you know that I struggle with pretty much everything that comes with being alive. When nothing makes sense, it's easy to look to the stars, right? They always have answers, even if astrology.com and horoscope.com always seem to have polar opposite things to say. But once you find a horoscope you like, you absorb it with delight, and the scattered inaccuracies and vague statements fade out of your memory. How do they know you so well? What wonderful surprise awaits you on the morning of February 19th? Oh, you really think I'm that smart and powerful and that's why no man can handle me? *Swoon*

People I admire once looked down on me for believing in astrology because they (somewhat fairly) thought I wasn't capable of vetting my beliefs. I held my ground then, of course, but in the crystal clear lens of retrospect, I know I was pretty deeply in denial. I didn't want to be responsible for my own shit. Blame the stars when I act like a total bitch!! Mercury is in retrograde after all.

In the grand scheme of things I don't think astrology is harmful, even if some people might find it particularly annoying and nonsensical. I think it's just a way people try to make sense of things, as I mentioned in an earlier post about death. I'm not sure if they're just trying to trick us all with it or if people genuinely believe they can understand and interpret the stars, but what's the big deal about nudging us to become better people with imaginary ups and downs determined by the stars?

But listen, astrology or not, I do believe life unfolds with a purpose. Each of our lifetimes is an experience totally unique to us and only us. We have the power, even without stars and planets, to interpret it exactly as we'd like, to surround ourselves with good people, and to spend our time doing things we find meaningful. I think it's incredibly important to continue to push ourselves to become better, whatever that means to you. And I can only speak for myself but in these past few days, I've felt myself opening up to change and letting go of negative energies and habits I knew I needed to let go of. Me or the stars? I guess we'll never really know ;)